A reflection on discipleship and community
Almost every Christian has a story of disappointment with the church. Conflicts have always plagued the church. We quarrel about the choice of worship style, the order of worship, theological stances, use of church funds and the conduct of church ministries. Yet more often than not, quarrels in church happen because of personality crashes and relational misunderstandings.
How would you describe your relationship with the church? Do you have certain expectations on what the family of Christ should be and when she did not meet those expectations, you become disillusioned and disappointed? Are your expectations based on biblical understandings?
In Eph 2:11-22, Paul sought to remind the Gentile believers of how God in His mercy has included them into His redemptive plan. God has brought them to share the joy of God’s salvation together with the Jews. The Gentiles and the Jews were two very distinct cultural groups that had deep enmity against each other. Yet in Christ, this wall of hostility was torn down. Christ has brought them together to form one new entity. They are now a household of God.
This truth applies to us today too. In Christ, believers from all walks of life and different background are now corporately the household of God. In other words, we are the family of Christ.
It is supernatural, not natural
One of the key characteristic of this family is that the ties that binds us together is supernatural and not natural.
Our unity is not based on human inventions but Christ’s intervention. It is not the culture of men but the cross of Christ that unites us together. It is not common economic status, language, interest or personality that bring us together but the blood of Christ that brings us supernaturally together.
The family of Christ is therefore inclusive in nature. It welcomes people from all walks of life and makes them members of the household. The family of Christ is God’s providence especially to the singles. widows and orphans. It makes sure every person on earth will have a family and not be left alone and isolated in this world.
Yet so often we try to revolve the family of Christ around us. We try to define our ties in terms of the natural and not the supernatural. We just want to stay around with people similar to us and are not open to receive others who are not like us. Instead of being inclusive, we can become exclusive. We form a holy huddle with those we are comfortable with and do not welcome others into the group.
When we centre our relationships on the natural and not on the supernatural, we will not go very far in developing authentic relationships in the church. In addition, we will not go very far in our own spiritual growth and personal development.
Ruth Haley Barton in her book Life Together in Christ observes this: "One of the dynamics of transforming community is that there is enough "otherness" in the group that we can actually be challenged to stretch and grow beyond the confines of our own limited view of things and find ways to open to Christ as he is uniquely present in the other... if we don't venture outside our comfort zones, trusting that the stranger God has brought into our lives has something for us, we will never even know what we're missing. "
Barton added that if one is not able to embrace "otherness" in another person, then he or she will have difficulty embracing Christ, because Christ being the holy God is the "divine other".
When we begin to centre our relationships on the supernatural, that is, Christ and His work at the cross, then we will become open, inclusive and welcoming towards other who are not like us.
It is not meant to make us comfortable but to make us holy
Another key characteristics about the family of Christ is that it is not meant to make us comfortable but to make us holy.
The church on earth is not heaven on earth. We live in a world broken by sin. God welcomes broken and messy people to Him, including ourselves. Church on earth consists of broken people that is still work-in-progress. No wonder churches will experience friction and conflict!
I believe God intends the family of Christ on earth to be a safe place where we may grow in holiness and Christlikeness. The family of Christ is transforming in nature.
Some of us struggle in connecting with people. You are an introvert like me who doesn’t like to make new friends. People like us need to remember that we need others. We need the community to help us grow in holiness. We can’t do it alone. We need the family of Christ to help break us out from our self pre-occupation and self-sufficiency. We need the family of Christ to challenge us to look out for the interest of others and care for the needs of others.
There are many scriptural passages given to help regulate relationships in the family of Christ. Here are a few of them:
- Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Phil 2:3-4)
- Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Col 3:12-14)
- Love each other deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
- Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. (Romans 14:10)
- Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)
These passages show that God knows that the church will consist of imperfect people and and He wants us to apply godliness in the way we treat each other. When we obey these scriptural commands, we will grow in holiness and become like Christ.
So the community of Christ is not and never can be about us. It is not to serve our individual preferences or personal interests. The family of Christ is about Christ's transforming presence in us, through us and for each one of us.
Spiritual ties precedes biological ties
Finally, another characteristics of the family of Christ is that it precedes the biological ties. The family of Christ precedes our own earthly family.
Please don’t take offence for this is what Jesus said.
"While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”" (Matt 12:46-50)
Jesus is not rejecting his earthly family, instead He is elevating something greater than biological ties – that is the spiritual family.
Biological relations are temporal, they exist only on earth. In Matt 22:30, Jesus reveals that in the day of resurrection, there will no longer be marriage. This also means that biological relationships will become obsolete in heaven.
Biological ties sustains life on earth but spiritual ties is eternal in nature, it celebrates life in eternity. In the day of consummation, biological ties will be totally replaced with the much richer and deeper spiritual ties. Our earthly relationships no matter how deep and rich can never ever match the spiritual ties we will have with each other in heaven.
This is not to say we therefore disregard our biological ties and neglect our earthly family. God forbid we should do this! Scripture clearly teaches the sacred obligations between husband and wife and between parent and children. We must pay attention to our earthly family and not neglect them because of church commitments. I will add that we must pay attention to our earthly family and not neglect them because of our work commitments. The sad thing is that the latter is usually more tolerated than the previous.
If spiritual ties precedes biological ties, then we should pay attention to it. We should pursue authentic relationships with the family of Christ knowing that this family is an eternal one.
May the relationship we develop with the family of Christ not gravitates towards the natural dimensions (culture, background, personal interests or likings), instead gravitates towards the supernatural, that is, Christ and His transforming presence in us and through us.
Reflection Questions:
- What are some intentional steps you can take to develop Christ-centered relationships in your church?
- What can hinder you from being devoted to the family of Christ? Distractions? Priority? Self-centeredness? Comfort zone? Disappointments? etc
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