“For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ”
Romans 8:20-23 ESV
Introduction
My mum died of lung cancer in 2007. Witnessing her suffering and going through the painful process of dying was deeply traumatic for me. I wonder why God extended her life just to let her suffer. If He is not going to heal her, why not just take her home? What’s the point of letting her suffer in agony? I wonder what is the purpose of the dying process. It took me several months to process the experience before God. While I have learnt to trust His heart when I can't understand His hands, the questions surrounding the dying process remain in me.
Recently, another brother in Christ passed away after wrestling with terminal cancer for two years and eight months. His final four months were particularly difficult. I witnessed not only his suffering but also how his family members struggled with grief and the emotionally challenging process of accompanying a loved one towards death.
I felt compelled to revisit the topic of the dying process. I hope to land on some pastoral and biblical perspectives that may serve to comfort those who are approaching death, and those who are accompanying their loved ones through the dying process.
How might we understand the process of dying? Could God, in His sovereignty and grace, use even this painful and difficult season to accomplish His purposes in our lives?
I would like to humbly offer five reasons for our consideration.
Reason 1: To Celebrate the Gift of Life
The dying process reminds us to give thanks for the physical life that God has given us.
The Psalmist declares, "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14). Our physical bodies are part of God's good creation (Gen 1:31), and life itself is a precious gift from Him.
We often take our physical bodies for granted until illness and disability expose just how vulnerable and fragile they are. Yet remarkably, even in the face of severe illness and physical distress, we sometimes witness the body's extraordinary resilience and its persistent efforts to sustain life. Even as its strength gradually diminishes, the body continues to fight to preserve life.
The dying process, therefore, is not merely a story of the body's deterioration; it is also a testimony to the remarkable resilience of the human body. It reminds us of how wonderfully God has made us and that life is a precious gift from God, worth cherishing and fighting for.
Let us give thanks to God for the life He has given us and the physical body He has entrusted to us. Even in its frailty, we are reminded of the dignity and preciousness of human life.
Reason 2: To Grieve In Solidarity with the Fallen World
The Bible teaches that suffering, decay and death are not part of God's original good creation as He intended it. They entered human experience through sin and the Fall. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin entered the world, and death through sin (Rom 5:12).
The dying process is therefore more than a personal tragedy; it is a sobering reminder of our fallen humanity.
As we witness someone approaching the end of life, experiencing the deterioration of the human body, the loss of physical abilities and the inevitability of death, we are confronted with the painful reality of our fallen existence. We are reminded not only of our individual mortality but also of our collective brokenness as part of this sinful world.
The dying process should therefore humble us before God. It reminds us of the extent to which sin has corrupted God's good creation, and our desperate need for God’s redemption through His Son, Jesus Christ, who came to redeem us from our sins and deliver us from its ultimate consequence, spiritual death itself (Heb 2:14–15).
Indeed, we groan alongside all creation, longing for the day when we will be set free from the bondage of decay and experience the fullness of God's redemption (Rom 8:21–23).
Reason 3: To Anticipate the Hope of Resurrection
As Christians, we do not approach death without hope. Although physical death remains a reality and the dying process can be agonising, we have the assurance that pain and death does not have the final word.
The dying process reminds us that we are pilgrims journeying towards our eternal home. It calls us to fix our eyes on the Day when Christ will return, death will be defeated, and God will make all things new.
On that Day, those who are dead in Christ will be raised to put on new resurrection bodies! Paul describes the resurrection body as imperishable, glorious and powerful . Our present bodies are subject to decay, weakness and death, but our resurrection bodies will no longer be subject to these limitations. (1 Corinthians 15:42–44)
Revelation 21:1–5 gives us a beautiful picture of this glorious future. God will dwell with His people, wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain. The old order of things will have passed away, and God will make all things new.
This is the Christian hope: not merely the survival of our souls, but the complete redemption of our bodies and the restoration of God's creation.
Therefore, as we accompany our loved ones through the painful process of dying, we are reminded to look beyond the present suffering towards the glory that awaits us, and the redemption of our bodies (Rom 8:23).
Reason 4: To Re-affirm Relationship and Find Closure
Scripture calls us to love one another deeply (1 Pet 4:8), to forgive one another as God has forgiven us (Eph 4:32), and to bear one another's burdens (Gal 6:2). The deathbed can become a sacred space in which these biblical responsibilities are expressed and lived out in deeply personal ways.
In the busyness of life, we sometimes take our relationships for granted, assuming that there will always be another opportunity to express our love and appreciation. The approaching end of life reminds us how precious our relationships are and how important it is to cherish one another while we still have the opportunity.
Difficult as it may be, the dying process provides an opportunity for family members and loved ones to draw near to the person who is dying. It allows them time to express their love and gratitude, seek reconciliation where necessary, affirm the significance of their relationships, and find a measure of closure as they prepare to say their goodbyes.
Nevertheless, we must not oversimplify the pain of unresolved wounds. Not every relationship will experience reconciliation or closure on this side of heaven. Some things may remain unsaid and some hurts may remain unhealed. In such circumstances, we must learn to entrust what remains unfinished and unresolved to the grace and mercy of God.
This is where the fifth reason becomes particularly important. We may not always find complete closure in our human relationships at the deathbed, but we can find comfort in God's grace and presence. Where human relationships have left wounds or vacuum, God's unfailing love meets us in our brokenness and fills our emptiness with His consolation.
Reason 5: To Experience God's Grace and Presence
God does not promise that every believer will experience physical healing in this life. Neither does He promise that the dying process will always be peaceful or free from pain. Nevertheless, Scripture assures us that God and His grace will be present with His people in their suffering.
Paul experienced this when he pleaded with God to remove his thorn in the flesh. God's answer was, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9).
Sometimes God's grace comes through the loving presence and care of family members, friends, medical professionals and caregivers. He provides for us through His providence and the loving service of His people.
God does not remain distant from our suffering. In Jesus Christ, God entered into our broken human experience. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:33–35). He was acquainted with grief and suffering (Isa 53:3). We have a Saviour who sympathises with our weaknesses (Heb 4:15).
We may not always understand what God is doing, and we may not experience the kind of healing we desperately desire. But we can be assured that He knows our pain, hears our cries and remains with us.
The dying process can therefore become a profound encounter with God's sustaining grace, loving presence and faithfulness.
As the Psalmist declares, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me" (Ps 23:4).
Concluding Reflection
The process of dying is one of the most difficult experiences of human existence. There will be tears, difficult questions, helplessness and perhaps even moments of despair.
Yet the dying process can become an opportunity to celebrate the gift of life, confront the reality of our fallen condition, anticipate the hope of resurrection, help re-affirm relationships, and experience the sustaining grace and presence of God.
Paul declares: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers ... will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom 8:38–39)
May this assurance sustain us, whether we are approaching death ourselves or accompanying someone we love through the valley of the shadow of death.